Why The Disorganised Author?

Are you in awe of these superwomen writers who run a home, look after four children under ten, hold down a part time job, participate in the PTA, Muck out feed and exercise three horses every day, chair five charity committees and find time to write a novel a year?

Well to make everyone else feel better – here’s a window into my life!

7.50 am – Stagger out of bed when I hear my better half moving about.

7.55am – Climb into shower- grab the shampoo bottle and finding it empty, hurl it in the general direction of the waste paper basket. It misses and hits the floor and rolls behind the loo. Promptly forget it’s even there until about April.
8.10 am – Get out of the bath with still dirty hair, slap on some moisturiser and drag on a pair of jeans and a jumper.
8.15 am – Make coffee for husband and myself and stagger back upstairs to home office.
8.25 am – Boot up the pc. Realise I didn’t shut it down last night and have just turned it off, so have to wait for it to boot up again!
8.30 am – Husband leaves for a day crammed with meetings
8.35 am – Promise myself I’ll only spend half an hour catching up with my e-mails.
10.00 am – Make more coffee.
10.10 am – Complete the critique I was doing last night, to find I haven’t saved the file when I shut down the computer and have to begin again.
11.00 am – Two critiques later I scan the critique groups and find two for me.
12.00 pm – Read through them and re-work wonky passages in my manuscript and send off chatty e-mails thanking my critique partners.
12.30 pm – Go into bedroom to find my wip on memory stick and kick dirty shirts on floor to one side.
12.35 pm - Have an attack of conscience and scoop them up, take them downstairs again and shove them in washing machine and switch it on.
12.45 pm – Turn machine off again and wait for three minutes until I can open the door, remove memory stick which got caught up in the shirts and turn machine back on.
1.00 pm – Throw a muffin in the toaster, smear cream cheese and blackcurrant jam on it – main course and dessert all in one -Make another coffee and go back upstairs.
1.20 – Read three chapters of my galley for typos, then make myself stop in case I get word blind and miss some.
2.45 pm – Answer a few phone calls, do a bit of admin – Remember I'm supposed to be working from home today – thank goodness for VOIP and web based databases!
3.00 pm – Stare at Chapter 6 of my wip and move two paragraphs round for clarity. Then move them back because they made better sense the first time.
3.45 pm – Check e-mail again and respond
4.00 pm – Back to wip – find a chapter which does nothing for the pace or storyline and make myself delete it – despite the scintillating, witty conversation and deep insights into 17th century life. – It’s gotta go!
5.00 pm – More phone calls. Look up and find I am suddenly blind – so get up and turn on the light.
6.00 pm – Husband comes upstairs and I look up, amazed, I didn’t even hear the door go.

Him: Foul weather today wasn't it? Rained all day.

Me: [Blinks] Weather?
Him: ‘Any crisis, darling? Did you get that report done for me?’

Me: Oh God what report? “Errr… not far off now Sweetie, it wasn’t urgent was it?”
Him: “Nah, not really, but I need it for tomorrow.”
Me: Phew! reprieve. Now where was the darned thing, [Visualise me riffling through stack of documents on desk]
Him: Calls up the stairs - “Has the washing machine finished this cycle?”
Me: “It must have dear if the light’s off” - Yeah, about three hours ago
Him: “I’ll put them in the dryer then. What would you like to eat?”

OK, so he cooks! He likes to cook, he says it’s therapy after having to think all day. And as he plans the menus, it makes sense he does the shopping too – doesn’t it?

6.30 pm – Have an hour in the pub while dinner is cooking to talk about our day (He insists we do this as the alternative is to stare at the lid of my laptop all evening)

7.30 pm – Go home and eat dinner, load dishwasher.
8.15 pm – Boot up laptop and work on my blogs and forums for another couple of hours.
10.30 pm – Look up guiltily when husband says, “I'm going to bed, I think your laptop’s giving me tinnitus.”


Laura Purcell said...

Brilliant. So true

Jennifer Pittam said...

Ha ha! Wonderful. Author Perriam said 'Authors don't need to do dusting.' It seems to have worked for her. Lovely blog, Anita

Anita Davison said...

So many people asked me 'Why is your blog called...' that I decided to explain. Thanks for your comments Laura and Jennie

Sandra Danby said...

Great name! SD

Katherine Pym said...

Hilarious. I laughed a lot, which is good therapy when I'm having a similar day.

Erik Von Norden said...

You might consider calling the blog, "The Well Caffeinated Author." Keep up the good work, in any event.

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